Kim Phuc Phan Thi
How Do You Forgive Someone Who Never Said Sorry? Have you ever found yourself replaying the words someone said, the betrayal you experienced, or the hurt you never asked for? Maybe you've prayed about it countless times, yet the pain still feels as fresh as the day it happened. Deep down, you know God calls you to forgive—but your heart quietly whispers, "Lord, You don't understand what they did to me." Kim's story reminds us that forgiveness isn't pretending the hurt never happened or excusing someone's actions. It's a journey of trusting God with the justice we can't carry and allowing Him to heal the places we cannot heal ourselves. She didn't wake up one day free from bitterness; God softened her heart little by little as she chose to pray for those who had wounded her. Whatever burden you're carrying today—a broken relationship, betrayal, family conflict, painful memories, or disappointment that still lingers—know that Jesus sees every scar. He never asks you to walk the path of forgiveness alone. As you surrender your hurt to Him, He can replace bitterness with peace, resentment with compassion, and heavy burdens with the freedom only He can give. The same God who transformed Kim's heart is still in the business of restoring wounded hearts today. "But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you." (Luke 6:27–28 ESV)
Full Transcript
On June 8, 1972, a photo made headlines around the world. It was called The Napalm Girl and showed children running, unable to escape the burning they felt. They had had napalm dropped on them. The chemical is a thick jelly made of gasoline and aluminum salts, and it clings to skin and causes horrific burns. Eight-year-old Kim Phuc Phan Thi was in that photo, running, screaming, “Too hot!” The napalm burnt a third of her body.
From being left for dead in a morgue with her body horribly burned and scarred for life to having her dream of becoming a doctor torn from her for political gain, to planning on suicide to end the pain, Kim's search for answers would only be satisfied in discovering the strength of the One who suffered Himself. Her decades-long journey with Jesus has been filled with pain as she struggled with forgiveness and her long list of enemies. “Forgive them? Forget it. There is just no way. Christianity is too difficult a thing.” But God…
Softening the Heart
It was a cold Veterans Day November 1996, and Kim was scheduled to speak to three thousand veterans at the Vietnam Memorial Wall and tens of thousands on television.
She passionately believed in the remarks she had prepared and hoped, in some small way, she could persuade those listening that whatever the question was, war was never the answer.
The issue of forgiveness had surfaced years earlier when Kim had been challenged by Jesus: "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you (Luke 6:27-28 ESV). She struggled, trying to reconcile His words with what had happened to her. “This can’t be right; I must have misread it. Pray for them?” Staring at those words, she laughed. “Oh Lord, do you not recall how many enemies I have?”
In answer to her own question, she began her Enemies List: names of those who had created the plans, those who had ordered the strikes, those who had dropped the bombs, and the communist officials, who had killed her dream by using her for propaganda. And those who had destroyed her country. Forgiving them was not an option. How could justice ever be served if she didn’t carry her cause? And yet she kept finding Scriptures about forgiveness.
Over and over, Kim cried out to God: “Father, you do not understand how severe is my pain—the terror, the destruction, the abuse, the scars. Is there no justice to be paid? I know that forgiveness is the wise thing to do, but Lord, I cannot ever forgive.” Which road would she choose? The road marked with suffering, bitterness, and rage or the one paved with life, peace, and joy. That cold November morning held the answer.
Kim stepped up on the stage and faced those who had suffered along with her in that tragic war. “Dear friends, I am that little girl who was running to escape from the napalm fire. But I don’t want to talk about the war because I cannot change history. I have suffered a lot from both physical and emotional pain. I thought I could not live, but God saved me and gave me faith and hope. Even if I could talk face-to-face with the pilot who dropped those bombs, I would tell him we cannot change history, but we should try to do good things for the present and for the future to promote peace.”
Kim concluded her remarks, and the bugler began to play taps. She was overcome with the significance of the moment as she wiped the tears from her face. She was moving through the crowd.
A veteran of that war, who had seen her story recounted on television, was now a pastor, and he reached out to her. “Kim, I am so very, very sorry. Will you forgive me for what I have done in that war?” The door was open, and her choice was clear. Kim reached for his hands and looked deep into his eyes. “It is okay. I forgive. I forgive!”
Kim was thankful she could offer forgiveness to one person, but what about the others, the ones she did not know? How was she going to forgive them?
In the ensuing weeks, Kim struggled with how to forgive those she presently despised, who had harmed her so deeply. The answer came, and she found herself praying for them, rather than cursing them. She began praying for everyone who was involved in the Vietnam war. Several months later, as she looked at the names in her prayer journal, she realized that the ones she had been praying for were the same ones on her list of enemies. “The more I prayed for my enemies, the softer my heart became. When I felt real forgiveness, my heart was set free. If I can do it, everyone can do it.”
“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27-28 ESV).
